I haven't posted almost all month, which is rediculous!
Whenever I buy salami, I make the false promise to myself that I am not going to eat the whole package at one time. I just ate half the package, and am about to go to sleep. My mom has always told me not to eat cheese or sausage-like meats before bed, because you will have strange dreams. I always have strange dreams, so I figure, why not eat what I want? Also, I had a Perrier and a very onion-heavy salad, but I don't know if that makes a difference. Clearly from this information, you can tell I am quite accustomed to being the only person sleeping in my bed.
This brings me to a bit of a sore point, wherein I feel it only honest to include in this, my online life-account, that I am on the verge of quitting the online dating fiasco. Perhaps as someone who works very very full time, I was under the impression that online match-seeking was giving me an opportunity to meet people when I don't have the time or money to go out all the time, and I tend to get a little freaked out when event venues are really crowded. But all that online dating has done for me thus far has been stress me out and cause me to mentally peck at myself when trying to decode interactions with the live versions of my "matches", so look out 'cause I'm throwing a towel.
We don't have AC at my house, so we are all pretty much sweaty beasts. My cat, who usually only deigns to sleep on cushioned surfaces, has taken to chilling out on the floor. I plan on getting a fan this week.
I'm hanging my art show on MONDAY! aaaaah, I feel kind of unprepared, but in reality I am not. I keep starting new paintings, which might be counterproductive to the idea of finishing the other pieces that I have going, but it just pours out of me. Sunday I plan to be completely MIA, deep in art mode and definitely covered in paint.
Stressed and sweaty, I feel very unimpressed by this post, however, Frauline C says she misses reading my blog on her overnight shifts, and I wanted to at least get my salami obsession into cyberspace to amuse her.
Showing posts with label Moms. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Moms. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Love that musky art scent
Argh, I just spilled my grubby brushwater all over my bedroom floor.
Shows I'm painting with reckless abandon, but it smells musty and now I have to wash extra towels in the laundry tomorrow. (How often do I thank heavens I don't have carpeting in here?)
But, I'm painting, I'm painting!! I feel really alive! Even when I just talk about painting I feel great. I can rarely ever work on just one painting at a time, I am all about the layering of imagery and intent and complex visual thicknesssss. One I have going right now is a mash of a LOT of detail and abstraction and layers, and then there is a 2 canvas figure painting that actually looks really stunning while being pretty calm but with clashy colours. I'm working with erotic undertones in my painting for this show, and it sure shows how much of a loaded, many-layered and multi-faceted that theme can be for many of us and definately is for me!
Looking at themes in my art, going to counselling apointment today and hanging out with my mumsie this evening really feels like a lot of honesty and deep inquiry. Today for me centred in part around looking at my body image from different angles I have been too afraid to go at it from for a long time. It also centred of course on listening to my mom's experience of going to one of her best friends' funeral last week and how that was for her and all the details of being there, going to the same funeral place that my Nana and Papa's ashes are and really visiting her Dead Folks. It also involved hearing so many beautiful stories of what people remember and how people hold it together. Wow.
My mom is super cool and we ate and had a great time. Talked about our current needlecraft projects, (she knits and i crochet), the kinds of cookies we are going to perfect when we have a baking night in honour of her late friend's life (Aunty was a totally cookie master! Even belonged to a cookie swap club), mom's accidental foray into using that intense Got 2b Glued hair product to "give her bangs a little definition"...I was like "oh, gosh they wronged you,mom, they have a special shampoo just for removing that stuff, it's like spike central! razor sharp bangs!" How could the person assisting her at Cosmetic World allow that kind of purchase to happen in good conscience? I used to use it when my hair was about an inch long when I was 16 because it is a great product to make it spikey and faux-ravery but got too pissed with it practically shellacking pieces of loose hair to my hands. Next time they ought to hook a lady up with some POMADE is all I'm saying.
Going to round up my laundry to get an early start on it tomorrow and then scoop kitty litter. What an exciting life!
~Sequin
Shows I'm painting with reckless abandon, but it smells musty and now I have to wash extra towels in the laundry tomorrow. (How often do I thank heavens I don't have carpeting in here?)
But, I'm painting, I'm painting!! I feel really alive! Even when I just talk about painting I feel great. I can rarely ever work on just one painting at a time, I am all about the layering of imagery and intent and complex visual thicknesssss. One I have going right now is a mash of a LOT of detail and abstraction and layers, and then there is a 2 canvas figure painting that actually looks really stunning while being pretty calm but with clashy colours. I'm working with erotic undertones in my painting for this show, and it sure shows how much of a loaded, many-layered and multi-faceted that theme can be for many of us and definately is for me!
Looking at themes in my art, going to counselling apointment today and hanging out with my mumsie this evening really feels like a lot of honesty and deep inquiry. Today for me centred in part around looking at my body image from different angles I have been too afraid to go at it from for a long time. It also centred of course on listening to my mom's experience of going to one of her best friends' funeral last week and how that was for her and all the details of being there, going to the same funeral place that my Nana and Papa's ashes are and really visiting her Dead Folks. It also involved hearing so many beautiful stories of what people remember and how people hold it together. Wow.
My mom is super cool and we ate and had a great time. Talked about our current needlecraft projects, (she knits and i crochet), the kinds of cookies we are going to perfect when we have a baking night in honour of her late friend's life (Aunty was a totally cookie master! Even belonged to a cookie swap club), mom's accidental foray into using that intense Got 2b Glued hair product to "give her bangs a little definition"...I was like "oh, gosh they wronged you,mom, they have a special shampoo just for removing that stuff, it's like spike central! razor sharp bangs!" How could the person assisting her at Cosmetic World allow that kind of purchase to happen in good conscience? I used to use it when my hair was about an inch long when I was 16 because it is a great product to make it spikey and faux-ravery but got too pissed with it practically shellacking pieces of loose hair to my hands. Next time they ought to hook a lady up with some POMADE is all I'm saying.
Going to round up my laundry to get an early start on it tomorrow and then scoop kitty litter. What an exciting life!
~Sequin
Friday, April 2, 2010
Your urns smell like LewisCraft
Hey, what's up, internet? You scramble my brain but you're still alright.
I feel like I haven't been blogging fearlessly enough. My so-called blogger "dashboard" (woah!) says I have 12 posts on here, but several of those are abandoned drafts! I need to stop abandoning drafts for fear that they are boring or pointless. Many of my favourite bloggers sure don't let that stop them, and I don't mean that in the backhanded-compliment way it sounds! Some things are awesome because they are exciting, but not every single moment can be covered in neon rays of flashing wondrousness - some things are awesome because they are just real life and folks can relate to that.
Without further ado: My Day, Exuding REALNESS.
I tried to wake up at a decent hour this morning, because as I mentioned I am trying to get onto a sleep schedule that relates more directly to being alive when the sun is out. My BFF, who has been (and from here on out shall continue to be) referred to here as "Snoof", has been helping me out in this department, as I like her more than my alarm clock and therefore feel more excited to wake up and hang out with her than with a clock. Finally got up at 9:30 with minimal shouting from Snoof in the living room ("[Sequin Brown]! I'm alone in the living room with our coffees!!") and after a terrifyingly unhealthy breakfast of sour cream n onion chip remnants and Starbux Via instant coffee, I decided to listen to some Riot Grrrl music and work on a couple of paintings I've been meaning to tweak.
After that good time, plus a shower, Snoof took us out for ice cream to reward herself, and by lucky extension me, for having made several pages of notes for one of her many papers due in the next few days. After this joy, I got on the subway to go see my counselor, which is one hell of a transit ride out to the lovely 'burbs, had a decent session and hauled my arse back to the mainland to have a secular Good Friday dinner with my Mom.
We laughed, we caught up on life, mocked all the new developments in makeup application we noticed in Fashion magazine (honestly, roll-on foundation, spherical mascara wands and...vibrating mineral powder???) and drank zinfandel! Mom made some fabulous lasagna and brownies, 'cause we like things non-traditional that way. We surfed the net together, looking at really old photos of her parents and cousins that my uncle scanned and e-mailed her. I also introduced her to regretsy.com, which I figured she might get a kick out of if only for the entries where etsy sellers' spelling and grammar mistakes are picked on - she's a stickler for that sort of thing, and she likes crafts, to boot. "Fugly" seemed to be my mom's unofficial Favourite Slang Word to Use With Caution in 2006 or thereabouts, so I needed to hook her up with some fugly craft commentary.
This led us to gripe harmlessly about the new urns that "decorate" the front entrance of her (formerly "our") apartment building...they're big, they're gaudy and they're full of a combo of dried and fake plant matter that smells like spray glue and florist's foam. False pears and red spray painted pussy willows jut out at all angles and threaten to poke out visitors' eyes. Before I left, we spent a lot of time looking for the area on my totally unflattering but sensational sweater that I could have sworn had a polka-dotting error. Maybe I was hallucinating last time I wore it, but I really thought one of the shoulders had been knit with a few toonie-sized dots missing. I love my mom.
In closing, I noticed that being constantly connected through social technology like Facebook and text messaging makes me way more anxious and skews my already flawed sense of time. I find myself mentally rehashing sent e-mails and wondering where I went wrong if I don't receive relatively immediate responses. Because of this, I sometimes feel like a paper-bag puppet with extra-large googlie eyes: crinkly, ridiculous and wiggly.
I feel like I haven't been blogging fearlessly enough. My so-called blogger "dashboard" (woah!) says I have 12 posts on here, but several of those are abandoned drafts! I need to stop abandoning drafts for fear that they are boring or pointless. Many of my favourite bloggers sure don't let that stop them, and I don't mean that in the backhanded-compliment way it sounds! Some things are awesome because they are exciting, but not every single moment can be covered in neon rays of flashing wondrousness - some things are awesome because they are just real life and folks can relate to that.
Without further ado: My Day, Exuding REALNESS.
I tried to wake up at a decent hour this morning, because as I mentioned I am trying to get onto a sleep schedule that relates more directly to being alive when the sun is out. My BFF, who has been (and from here on out shall continue to be) referred to here as "Snoof", has been helping me out in this department, as I like her more than my alarm clock and therefore feel more excited to wake up and hang out with her than with a clock. Finally got up at 9:30 with minimal shouting from Snoof in the living room ("[Sequin Brown]! I'm alone in the living room with our coffees!!") and after a terrifyingly unhealthy breakfast of sour cream n onion chip remnants and Starbux Via instant coffee, I decided to listen to some Riot Grrrl music and work on a couple of paintings I've been meaning to tweak.
After that good time, plus a shower, Snoof took us out for ice cream to reward herself, and by lucky extension me, for having made several pages of notes for one of her many papers due in the next few days. After this joy, I got on the subway to go see my counselor, which is one hell of a transit ride out to the lovely 'burbs, had a decent session and hauled my arse back to the mainland to have a secular Good Friday dinner with my Mom.
We laughed, we caught up on life, mocked all the new developments in makeup application we noticed in Fashion magazine (honestly, roll-on foundation, spherical mascara wands and...vibrating mineral powder???) and drank zinfandel! Mom made some fabulous lasagna and brownies, 'cause we like things non-traditional that way. We surfed the net together, looking at really old photos of her parents and cousins that my uncle scanned and e-mailed her. I also introduced her to regretsy.com, which I figured she might get a kick out of if only for the entries where etsy sellers' spelling and grammar mistakes are picked on - she's a stickler for that sort of thing, and she likes crafts, to boot. "Fugly" seemed to be my mom's unofficial Favourite Slang Word to Use With Caution in 2006 or thereabouts, so I needed to hook her up with some fugly craft commentary.
This led us to gripe harmlessly about the new urns that "decorate" the front entrance of her (formerly "our") apartment building...they're big, they're gaudy and they're full of a combo of dried and fake plant matter that smells like spray glue and florist's foam. False pears and red spray painted pussy willows jut out at all angles and threaten to poke out visitors' eyes. Before I left, we spent a lot of time looking for the area on my totally unflattering but sensational sweater that I could have sworn had a polka-dotting error. Maybe I was hallucinating last time I wore it, but I really thought one of the shoulders had been knit with a few toonie-sized dots missing. I love my mom.
In closing, I noticed that being constantly connected through social technology like Facebook and text messaging makes me way more anxious and skews my already flawed sense of time. I find myself mentally rehashing sent e-mails and wondering where I went wrong if I don't receive relatively immediate responses. Because of this, I sometimes feel like a paper-bag puppet with extra-large googlie eyes: crinkly, ridiculous and wiggly.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Dazzle of the Day: SPRING!
What a stunner of a sunny day today is! A dazzling dose of Vitamin D really gives me one heck of a boost. I slept in until our buddy the Sun was at its peak, dozing in a big fatty of a sunbeam with Ms. Violet, my kitty; Then, honest to goodness I got up, stretched myself and showered off my weird dreams.
Today being International Women's Day, I thought it would be a good idea to get out there in my "F*** Patriarchy!" shirt and go visit my mom at her new workplace, bearing cookies. I hung out there for a good hour and a half, striking up light and intermittant conversation with my fabulous mom and her fantastic co-worker about feminist pornography, crocheted mathematical models of Hyerbolic Planes, warrior goddesses, tax forms, babies and, of course, the frozen tundra of my queer love life. But we all agreed that spring can bring nothing but good things in the latter department, and the Vitamin D coursing through my eyelids let me bask in that possiblity as I streetcarred back to my neighbourhood and let them get back to helping customers pick out stylish upholstry and wade in welcome-to-the-neighbourhood flowers and new filing techniques for paperwork.
Spring just sparkles with renewal, and while that renewal sometimes means the potent waft of defrosting dog poo deposits emerging from their hiding spots in last season's snow banks, I'm still 100% pro spring! Just watch where you step, Squooshy-gooshy patches abound.
[flow of thoughts into next paragraph: Spring --> Fresh ---> Fresh Prince --> Aunt Viv -->the ORIGINAL Aunt Viv]
This evening, I have had the joy of watching several episodes from the first season of the Fresh Prince of Bel Air, and I can't get over how much I love Janet Hubert-Whitten, the original Aunt Viv. She was fierce, glam, hilarious and so expressive! No offence to the actress who played Aunt Viv in the later episodes, but I find it so weird when shows switch new actors into a role that has been played by someone else for a long time. I can only imagine how difficult it would be for the new actor or actress to fill those shoes, but to be honest, it peeves me. Original Aunt Viv! This woman is so sincere! She makes me want to do my hair like her! (It could happen!)
In related thoughts, I am so glad how often I am reminded of my emense respect for Auntie figures and Mother figures, blood related or chosen family. I have been thinking about all the women in my life who have supported me and not only held my world together when I didn't know how, but who helped to create that world for me in the first place. As I mentioned before, I love my mom something fierce, for her totally unique sense of humour, all her protective energies, how much thought she gives to everything she says, her creativity and all the quirks and talents that come from being a sassy single mom for most of my life. I also have a vivacious, irreverant, madly creative and whirlwindishly enthusiastic auntie who thinks of me as her daughter, too, who has lived all over the world and has entrepreneured herself in such directions as jewelry and tea sales, wholesale distribution of human hair for extensions as well as spandex lingerie erotic dance costumes, unique dog jacket fashions and her own employment agency.
Family is such a complicated concept for so many people, and choosing one's own people out of all the spirits we are tied to by blood or karma or fate or happensance has been such a liberating journey for me and so many people I have known throughout the past five years especially. I just spoke to my father for the first time in five years yesterday, and realized how much I have grown and changed, and how far I have come in my healing journey since our last (yucky) conversations so long ago. I've accumulated a couple of amazing, magical chosen sisters along the way, snuggled a small brood of fantastic teenage ducklings under my wings and really valued being able to cherish and nurture such deep relationships in the space created by a lot of tangled roots coming undone.
I feel my heart thawing out in a pretty golden way.
It makes me wanna shoop-shoop -shoop!
Today being International Women's Day, I thought it would be a good idea to get out there in my "F*** Patriarchy!" shirt and go visit my mom at her new workplace, bearing cookies. I hung out there for a good hour and a half, striking up light and intermittant conversation with my fabulous mom and her fantastic co-worker about feminist pornography, crocheted mathematical models of Hyerbolic Planes, warrior goddesses, tax forms, babies and, of course, the frozen tundra of my queer love life. But we all agreed that spring can bring nothing but good things in the latter department, and the Vitamin D coursing through my eyelids let me bask in that possiblity as I streetcarred back to my neighbourhood and let them get back to helping customers pick out stylish upholstry and wade in welcome-to-the-neighbourhood flowers and new filing techniques for paperwork.
Spring just sparkles with renewal, and while that renewal sometimes means the potent waft of defrosting dog poo deposits emerging from their hiding spots in last season's snow banks, I'm still 100% pro spring! Just watch where you step, Squooshy-gooshy patches abound.
[flow of thoughts into next paragraph: Spring --> Fresh ---> Fresh Prince --> Aunt Viv -->the ORIGINAL Aunt Viv]
This evening, I have had the joy of watching several episodes from the first season of the Fresh Prince of Bel Air, and I can't get over how much I love Janet Hubert-Whitten, the original Aunt Viv. She was fierce, glam, hilarious and so expressive! No offence to the actress who played Aunt Viv in the later episodes, but I find it so weird when shows switch new actors into a role that has been played by someone else for a long time. I can only imagine how difficult it would be for the new actor or actress to fill those shoes, but to be honest, it peeves me. Original Aunt Viv! This woman is so sincere! She makes me want to do my hair like her! (It could happen!)
In related thoughts, I am so glad how often I am reminded of my emense respect for Auntie figures and Mother figures, blood related or chosen family. I have been thinking about all the women in my life who have supported me and not only held my world together when I didn't know how, but who helped to create that world for me in the first place. As I mentioned before, I love my mom something fierce, for her totally unique sense of humour, all her protective energies, how much thought she gives to everything she says, her creativity and all the quirks and talents that come from being a sassy single mom for most of my life. I also have a vivacious, irreverant, madly creative and whirlwindishly enthusiastic auntie who thinks of me as her daughter, too, who has lived all over the world and has entrepreneured herself in such directions as jewelry and tea sales, wholesale distribution of human hair for extensions as well as spandex lingerie erotic dance costumes, unique dog jacket fashions and her own employment agency.
Family is such a complicated concept for so many people, and choosing one's own people out of all the spirits we are tied to by blood or karma or fate or happensance has been such a liberating journey for me and so many people I have known throughout the past five years especially. I just spoke to my father for the first time in five years yesterday, and realized how much I have grown and changed, and how far I have come in my healing journey since our last (yucky) conversations so long ago. I've accumulated a couple of amazing, magical chosen sisters along the way, snuggled a small brood of fantastic teenage ducklings under my wings and really valued being able to cherish and nurture such deep relationships in the space created by a lot of tangled roots coming undone.
I feel my heart thawing out in a pretty golden way.
It makes me wanna shoop-shoop -shoop!
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