Sunday, May 30, 2010

"Hurdling from party to party, seducing everyone in all directions!"

^Only half accurate. Sally Bowles put it in such perfect words, I couldn't bring myself to ruin the quote by removing the seduction part.

So I've been to 3 parties in 2 days: a birthday bar jam, a tea-party-themed bridal shower and a goodbye party thinly disguised as a staff bowling night. Probably best that we didn't actually wind up going bowling, as I was still dressed to the bridal shower nines, in silver jeweled wedges, a watercolour dress and faux pearls of Wilma Flintstone proportions. I had gym socks in my glitter clutch though, ready to bust a bowling move in some rented shoes. Instead I got to eat a chorizo burrito and go for ice cream after, so I am a happy camper.

Two more parties on this week's agenda, and one of them is my art opening! To change quote-gears and move over to Austin Powers, "It's my happening, baby, and it's freaking me out!" I've been fretting, typing up stuff, painting and yes, darlings, I have indeed been shellacking (a non-toxic product, lord knows I get loopy when using products with fumes. The time I introduced myself as Janet Rino to a ceiling support column in the Art Room AND the time I announced that I was a goldfish who was feeling "grey" were both occurences involving artsy toxins such as hi-gloss spray varnish and rubber cement).

My eyes do feel googly at the moment, but i suspect that's more from tiredness and heat than any fumes.

Going to the fake beach with my friend tomorrow after tackling a mountain of tasks at kinkos in the morning!


Wednesday, May 26, 2010

go hang a salami im a lasagna hog

I haven't posted almost all month, which is rediculous!

Whenever I buy salami, I make the false promise to myself that I am not going to eat the whole package at one time. I just ate half the package, and am about to go to sleep. My mom has always told me not to eat cheese or sausage-like meats before bed, because you will have strange dreams. I always have strange dreams, so I figure, why not eat what I want? Also, I had a Perrier and a very onion-heavy salad, but I don't know if that makes a difference. Clearly from this information, you can tell I am quite accustomed to being the only person sleeping in my bed.

This brings me to a bit of a sore point, wherein I feel it only honest to include in this, my online life-account, that I am on the verge of quitting the online dating fiasco. Perhaps as someone who works very very full time, I was under the impression that online match-seeking was giving me an opportunity to meet people when I don't have the time or money to go out all the time, and I tend to get a little freaked out when event venues are really crowded. But all that online dating has done for me thus far has been stress me out and cause me to mentally peck at myself when trying to decode interactions with the live versions of my "matches", so look out 'cause I'm throwing a towel.

We don't have AC at my house, so we are all pretty much sweaty beasts. My cat, who usually only deigns to sleep on cushioned surfaces, has taken to chilling out on the floor. I plan on getting a fan this week.

I'm hanging my art show on MONDAY! aaaaah, I feel kind of unprepared, but in reality I am not. I keep starting new paintings, which might be counterproductive to the idea of finishing the other pieces that I have going, but it just pours out of me. Sunday I plan to be completely MIA, deep in art mode and definitely covered in paint.

Stressed and sweaty, I feel very unimpressed by this post, however, Frauline C says she misses reading my blog on her overnight shifts, and I wanted to at least get my salami obsession into cyberspace to amuse her.

Friday, April 30, 2010

Yahoo Just Doesn't Get Me & the Best Shower of Life

Since my e-mail is on Yahoo, I see the yahoo homepage often.
Today's "news" involved Chelsea Clinton and her wedding wish for her dad (I didn't realize brides gave wishes to their dads on their weddings, nor did I click the link to read what her wish was) and some kind of story-link to the blog My Messy Bedroom talking about the hairstyle men love best (I clicked it, but did so with morbid sarcasm)...
Science was dragged unwillingly in to the equation, and I felt very miffed that it was asserted that it was pretty much a fact that "most men" like long hair on women. That is such a vast and sweeping statement! Most men? Which men? Where? That's like saying "most North Americans like bacon". Yes, it's true, bacon is beloved by many, and has even become something of a pop-cultural icon, which is interesting for a meat, but what about vegetarians? what about meat-eating people who don't eat pork for religious reasons? what about people who have high cholesterol and an anti-bacon prescription (although I am sure that some people who are told not to eat bacon like it anyway... maybe this fits into the metaphor as a reference to queer women who are prescribed by Dr.Society not to like women with long hair but some of us do)? What about people who just don't eat bacon because they think bacon is salty, crunchy and weird? What about gay men, what about men who crushed out on Meg Ryan and Agyness Deyn? The author mentions that some women can rock short hairstyles and "still be sexy" (which of course is the damn truth), and closes with an anecdote about gender binary reinforcement in her childhood in the form of some woman thinking she was a boy once when she was 10, she just can't do short hair ever again. I feel like the end statement was sort of like "Yeah, I guess all those people who don't eat bacon exist, but science pretty much shows us that almost everybody likes and eats bacon here in North America. Y'all should eat some bacon."
And that, my friends, is flawed.

In other news, hot water is back and better than ever at my place. This meant the best damn shower I have ever had, and if any of my roommates had been home and within earshot they would have surely assumed I had an econo-sized jug of Herbal Essences in there with me, if you know what I mean.

Earlier this week, things had taken a turn for the awful and horrific in my world, and now they are starting to look back up again. I am hoping that this upward trend is going to continue, as we are not in the clear yet!

Time to go paint some things.


Sunday, April 25, 2010


Ooooh and also I am finally reading "Londonstani" by Guatam Malkani, and having an awesome riveting glimpse into Rudeboy life while at the same time menstruating heavily. Sweet.

Love that musky art scent

Argh, I just spilled my grubby brushwater all over my bedroom floor.
Shows I'm painting with reckless abandon, but it smells musty and now I have to wash extra towels in the laundry tomorrow. (How often do I thank heavens I don't have carpeting in here?)

But, I'm painting, I'm painting!! I feel really alive! Even when I just talk about painting I feel great. I can rarely ever work on just one painting at a time, I am all about the layering of imagery and intent and complex visual thicknesssss. One I have going right now is a mash of a LOT of detail and abstraction and layers, and then there is a 2 canvas figure painting that actually looks really stunning while being pretty calm but with clashy colours. I'm working with erotic undertones in my painting for this show, and it sure shows how much of a loaded, many-layered and multi-faceted that theme can be for many of us and definately is for me!

Looking at themes in my art, going to counselling apointment today and hanging out with my mumsie this evening really feels like a lot of honesty and deep inquiry. Today for me centred in part around looking at my body image from different angles I have been too afraid to go at it from for a long time. It also centred of course on listening to my mom's experience of going to one of her best friends' funeral last week and how that was for her and all the details of being there, going to the same funeral place that my Nana and Papa's ashes are and really visiting her Dead Folks. It also involved hearing so many beautiful stories of what people remember and how people hold it together. Wow.

My mom is super cool and we ate and had a great time. Talked about our current needlecraft projects, (she knits and i crochet), the kinds of cookies we are going to perfect when we have a baking night in honour of her late friend's life (Aunty was a totally cookie master! Even belonged to a cookie swap club), mom's accidental foray into using that intense Got 2b Glued hair product to "give her bangs a little definition"...I was like "oh, gosh they wronged you,mom, they have a special shampoo just for removing that stuff, it's like spike central! razor sharp bangs!" How could the person assisting her at Cosmetic World allow that kind of purchase to happen in good conscience? I used to use it when my hair was about an inch long when I was 16 because it is a great product to make it spikey and faux-ravery but got too pissed with it practically shellacking pieces of loose hair to my hands. Next time they ought to hook a lady up with some POMADE is all I'm saying.

Going to round up my laundry to get an early start on it tomorrow and then scoop kitty litter. What an exciting life!


Friday, April 23, 2010

C, as in 'cat'!, R, as in ...'raisin'...W as in 'wind'?...

Alright, Blog Fans!
As promised, I am blogging this evening, and what news, what news!!

As a fully grown adult I am employing the "Holy impromptu hostess, Batman!" powers of Dial-a-Bottle for the first time ever. Trying to spell the name of my street for the dispatcher guy made me realize that I would be absolutely useless as a HAMM radio operator or in any kind of emergency spelling situation. Alpha, Charlie, Bravo, I'm good. After that, I start doing free-association and end up with words like "wind" and "fraction" and slap myself in the forehead. They will definitely be checking our ID when they arrive.

In other news, I had a little art supply mini-shopping spree today, as I have suddenly confirmed that I will be having an art show in June! More details to follow, but all I can say at the moment is that my mind is overflowing with images and joy and ideas and inspiration! I got a sampler pack of a bunch of different kinds of acrylic mediums and I am really excited to try them all out, especially the "pouring medium", which I have no idea how to use but think will be totally useful for painting lava lamps or melting things, should the need arise! Also, clear gesso? Who has ever heard of such a revolutionary idea? I'm trying not to pee myself with excitement (so far my efforts are going well). I can't wait for bright colours to blossom onto canvases, including but not limited to FLUORESCENT YELLOW, Pthalo blue, magenta and purpley grey! eeeee!

I really hate what microwaves do to bread. You have to eat your heated bread (in the form of pizza, leftover sandwiches, defrosted bagels) real fast, when it is still molten, and if you don't it gets chewy and just awful! I already don't trust microwaves, but my distaste is magnified during these meal-reheats.

My new eyeliner makes me internally sing Le Tigre:
"I'll make some coffee/ put on some eyeliner/ I think I'll find that/ Things are fine (and they're gonna get MUCH/ FINER!)/ Do you wanna stay in bed all day?/[yeah!]/ Do you remember feelin' any other way? [NO!]//

peace out for now!


Monday, April 12, 2010

It ain't over till it's over...and then it is and I wish it weren't

I just finally got to the end of Valmiki's Daughter, by Shani Mootoo, who I adore.
I am sad.
Blame it on forgetting to take my mood meds for 2 days, or blame it on me being an overly-invested reader with high demands for an ending that makes me feel better about the world, but I'm freakin' sad. Yelling "WHY? Why Snoofy, WHYYY?" from my room is not helping the logical conclusion of the book to stop stinging my soul.
After work yesterday I was a bit of an open wound, and I thought I could maybe retreat into the book and hope Viveka (one of the main characters) could be an extension of me in the fictional world and maybe something great would happen to her.
Spoiler alert:

not so much.